


Arkady Claus

by ArkadyLady



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Gen, features an international treasure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5597506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArkadyLady/pseuds/ArkadyLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arkady enjoys his Christmas Eve tradition of visiting some of his clients, who don't necessarily know he's visiting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arkady Claus

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by (Fairy) Hannah who wanted something with Arkady as Santa.

_‘Twas the night before Christmas, and one thing was true:  
Arkady was collecting all debts that were due._

\-----

Arkady’s hand, currently sporting a black glove, slowly turned the knob to a door he had just unlocked. After opening the door, he quickly but quietly made his way to the security panel whose location he knew before coming in. He entered the code then turned to head into a room, fully furnished in Christmas cheer with decorations everywhere.  Arkady, dressed from head to toe in red with white trim and the traditional black belt and boots, fit right in with the seasonal array.  Yes, Santa Claus had arrived.  However, this Santa was _not_ in the giving spirit.

This had become Arkady’s Christmas Eve tradition.  One of his many “profit-rendering endeavors” was the loaning of money.  Arkady didn’t care for usury, so he tried to keep his rates reasonable.  (And if the occasional bills from fellow law-avoiding colleagues made their way into some of the loaned dough, well, that was okay.)  He usually saw a surge in customers later in the year.  He would get them to agree, on paper, to a due date: before December 25th.  

Any time someone would ask if it could be _after_  December 25th, Arkady would do his little routine.  He’d say, “Oh, I do not know. Let me see.”  He’d then pull the paper back to him, pretend to read over it, and kindly explain to the questioner, “No. This says before.”   He would often receive remarks that this was harsh since it was Christmas.  Arkady would then explain, “No, it is perfect! It is Christmas, and you get me gift of my own money. You do not need to get me anything extra. Is very generous of me, really.”  He would also emphasize an important part of the contract: you paid or he collected. 

No one ever seemed to think he’d actually collect on Christmas Eve.  They were very, very wrong.  In fact, he even gave his employees the night off. (It was Christmas Eve, after all.) He did the collecting himself. He actually enjoyed it, especially the times when he got free cookies.  Whether they were out for Santa or sitting in a tin somewhere in the kitchen area, Arkady always helped himself.  (As this was L.A., though, he knew by now not to try the milk.  It was rarely dairy anymore.)

Arkady began looking around for the valuable possessions he had made note of it in the intake visit.  Part of the borrower’s agreement included letting Arkady visit one’s home.  He would explain that it was to verify one’s address and also that the person had reasonable collateral.  (Arkady believed that collection should not involve broken bones.  That was barbaric and should be used only when necessary information is proving impossible to obtain.)  When in the home, he’d take pictures for photographic evidence of the collateral.  He’d also ask if the home had a security system and ask to see it: he had to make sure the collateral was protected, after all.  If the home had one, he’d sneak a small device that detected the combination.  If the home lacked one, well, lucky for the home owner he sold some and could give them a discount. 

Disarming the alarm was primarily to avoid involving the police in the mess.  They only made things messier.  He knew if he were seen, the resident would recognize him and avoid halting the collection.  He was a skillful sneak, though, and always thought it a shame he weren’t a burglar by trade.

On the odd occasion, he would encounter a tyke eager to spy Santa. He had fond memories of these moments.

_“Santa, you speak funny.”_

_“Santa is Russian. Santa has always been Russian, nice girl. They change accent during Cold War.”_

_“Santa, I didn’t think you were real!”_

_“Santa is real, little boy. Oh, and he likes this menorah he sees.”_

The clients he was currently visiting actually had a couple tots, so he did what he usually does: leave a few small toys behind.  It _was_ still Christmas, and Arkady _was_ still dressed as Santa. He wasn’t a monster or anything.  He then grabbed a couple of the nicer perennial decorations off the mantlepiece and the first editions over in the glass case.  He put them in his sack with the night’s other items.  

Before heading out, he left a small card on the table near the door. “Merry Christmas.  Thank you for your business. Disputed transactions may be directed to the number you already have. Your friend, A.K.”   


End file.
